You Know You've Been Fishing Too Long When...

You know you've been fishing too long when, the hallucinations begin.  It was our last night at the River of Dreams Lodge in Chilean Patagonia.  I had been fishing all day for 5 days in a row.  I imagine I made a few thousand casts each day.  I should of relaxed and enjoyed more of the moments.  Don't get me wrong, i loved the experience and there were some great moments, but I really wanted to catch a large fish.  This is a place to get a large, very large brown trout and that was what I had come their to do.  I set my expectations too high.  Not of the Rio Blanco River and its fish, the Camp, nor the guides, they all were wonderful, but of myself.  I'm just not that good of fly fisherman (yet!) and definitely have a ton to learn on how to effectively and efficiently streamer fish. 

On the last night after 5 long days of fishing, countless fish caught, but only one that broke 20 inches, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the rest room.  I sat on my bed and fumbled for my glasses.  Looking out the window, I was momentarily startled. It looked to me like the silhouettes of the mountains were moving, just as they would if floating down the river.  I shook my head, rubbed my eyes, and then saw just the clouds slowly drifting by the mountains.  Moving yes, as clouds do, not mountains.  For a second, I felt better, but then standing up, i struggled with my balance, I was drowsy, but it felt like i was walking on the raft not a wooden floor.  I slightly staggered outside and stopped to admire the stars.  Oh my, were there were stars!  Most of humanity doesn't know the sheer grandeur and awe that the Milky Way truly is.  Light pollution and particulate pollution obscure our skies in and around cities.  Most humans never bother looking up anymore in wonder, but I digress...

Staring up into the sky, I saw a thin line extending into them. I could barely make it out, but it was a bowed line extending into the heavens.  It was my fly line and infinity long version, but it looked like the line I had been starting at for the past 5 days for 8 hours a day.  The clouds then seemed to dissolve and became vague shaped of the submerged trees of the Rio Blanco.  Yes, I had been fishing way too long this week!  I never did get the giant I hoped. I missed out.  Not really on the fish, but on some more enjoyment I could of had.  We had fish each day, dozens of fish caught.  For me, many in the 16-18 inch range, beautiful Browns of two different strains (German and Finnish), the occasional rainbow trout, and at least one brown over 20 inches.  My friends I was with all ended up with fish larger than mine.  I urge myself frequently to try and slow down and just enjoy the moment, but my desire to push for a larger fish cost me some enjoyment and the self-created urgency likely could have cost me a larger fish.  The guides:  Andy, Hayden, and Josh were great.  The whole staff of River of Dreams was just lovely, but the huge brown alluded me.  They were there.  I missed them and that's on me.  That's okay.  I should of realized that sooner.  If so, I would of relaxed more and enjoyed more of the moments:  the moonrise over the mountains, the change of the colors of the river due to the glacial slit outflows waxing and waning with temperature changes, or the calls and curiosity of antics of the Chacaos on the forest floor.  I've got one more week here in Patagonia. Today, we're heading to the Patagonia River Ranch in San Martin de Los Andes.  I'm looking forward to fishing, but need to do more relaxing and just enjoy the moment.